BACK TO WILLPOWER AND ON TO LOVE

This will be my last blog post for awhile, I have really enjoyed writing to my petite audience over the course of the last few months. And I thank you all for allowing me to be open with you about the various aspects of my life and journey to my RAENEWED LIFESTYLE. I have learned so much these last few months about dedication to healthy living which has so much to do with exercising and eating well but also as much to do with relationships and mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

I’ve gone back to willpower in the sense that my first post on this blog pertained to willpower and how it is an essential part of making healthy eating choices and pushing yourself to go exercise. And just this past weekend when I went to visit a friend I succeeded in putting my willpower into action by saying no to all the bad eating habits that I usually partake in when with friends. I was so proud of myself and I felt the best I’ve felt in a long time, and very confident in my skin. That confidence also had a lot to do with my success on my hair journey which I discussed in an earlier post. I was originally striving to wear my hair in it’s most natural state but now I’m back to the basics of getting my natural hair blow dried, and then heat styled with a curling iron. And I am so happy with it because it’s the hairstyle that I maintained during some of the happiest periods in my life.

On to love, I contacted the guy that I referred to in my last post and it’s not that I will find love with him. But it’s more about what I’ve found I value the most after having ample time over the last three years to reflect about my life, my regrets, and my mistakes. I really value more than anything, love. And I want to obtain love and I want to experience being in a relationship with the love of my life. Whoever that may be. I want to have quality, loyal, trustworthy friendships. And I want to have smooth relationships with all of my relatives. I also want to fall in love with my dream again and pursue it with vigor. These two songs below describe a lot of what I feel about love and life in the present. And we’ll all just have to wait and see what the future holds. As always…

Committed, RAENEWED LIFESTYLE

WINDFALL

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source: tallncurly.com

I was just thinking today about how weird life is. Many people have described it as a rollercoaster because as all of us can attest there are the given ups and downs. But there are also those times when you’ve gotten to the part of the ride that doesn’t make your stomach drop too much and brings out the laugh, it’s the funniest part of the ride thus far. But then imagine all of a sudden the ride jolting to an unexpected stop because the ride has malfunctioned. And you wonder to yourself, “What in the world just happened?!”

That’s where I am in my life and it’s the most unsettling feeling because I just knew that I was finally in a place of acceptance. But a person can only accept so much. I know that this too shall pass. And I have a feeling that although the ride has come to a jolting stop I can get it riding again if I keep moving on. If I throw out the kinks through busying myself with things that make me happy. Maybe pick up a new hobby, take lessons on an instrument I’ve always wanted to play, lose the rest of those unwanted pounds, continue to work towards receiving great grades in my classes. I know that this is a trial that I’ve been given for a reason and if I decide to take it with a grain of salt I’ll find myself bloom more than ever before. This RAENEWED LIFESTYLE is kicking me in the buttocks. But I’m still…

Committed, RAENEWED LIFESTYLE

P.S. Sometimes when you feel like you’re crashing God has waiting for you a windfall.

MUSIC IS MY SOLACE

Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the dichotomy between what I want to spend my time doing in the present and long term versus what I’m actually doing. It’s crazy because ever since I was little music has been the one constant outside of friends and family that has kept me engaged. It encompasses so much of my time and has literally gotten me through college thus far. I was listening to Brandy’s album Never Say Never and I was thinking about the time I have spent commuting to and from school for the last three years and the great contribution that Brandy’s music has made in accompanying me along many of those drives.

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Yesterday evening I was online searching the status of one of my new favorite artists Kyndall and she’s really progressing in her career. She’s been working towards her big break in the music industry for like four years and has now released an EP that she’s really satisfied with and she’s starting to get a lot of attention from people who are just now finding out who she is. It’s funny to me because every time I find an artist that’s up and coming it seems like the three years that I’m around to see them grow goes out the window when masses of people finally wake up and discover these new artists. But I also wonder what it is that I could have accomplished if I was taking a path different from the one I’m on now. Who could I have been right now? Who could have known me right now? To keep me sane I’ve adopted quotes into my life such as “What’s meant for you will be.” and “You have as many hours in a day as Beyonce.” Because I constantly find myself searching for contentment and reasoning for why things are going certain ways even though I already know that each person’s path is different and no two paths will ever be the same. Even in all of this growing that I’m experiencing music stands as my solace.

Committed, RAENEWED LIFESTYLE